What happens in a kids counselling session? A guide to four common approaches

Adults process difficult experiences by talking about them. Children, for the most part, don't — not because they're unwilling, but because their brains simply aren't wired that way yet.

For tamariki, feelings live in the body, in movement, in play, in the things they build and draw and create. 

The most effective children's counselling meets them there. 

Rather than traditional talk therapy, popular with adults, we lean on a range of different therapeutic approaches such as play therapy, sand tray, IDT and IFS. 

What do these four therapeutic approaches actually look like?

1.  Play Therapy: Following the child's lead

   
   

Children don't always have the words. But they do know how to play.

• A play therapy-centred session offers children a safe, carefully prepared space where they use toys, art materials, puppets or imaginative play to externalise and express what's happening inside. 

• Play is how kids already understand the world, so this therapeutic approach feels natural and non-threatening. For a child who finds it hard to talk about feeling scared, angry or confused, play helps them to feel at ease and show what they’re struggling with.

How this applies to a session: The child is invited to explore or play. During this process, the play-therapy-trained counsellor tracks and pays gentle attention to the themes and stories that emerge, while also supporting the child to make sense of their experience. 

2.  Sand Tray Therapy: Creating a world in miniature

This approach enables kids to be the kings and queens of their own world. 

• Sand tray therapy invites the child to build a small scene in a tray of sand, using miniature figures, animals, trees, and objects. There are no rules and nothing needs to look a particular way.

• What unfolds in the tray can reveal things that haven't yet found words — and that's exactly the point. Difficult emotions are welcomed, not judged. The hands and the imagination do the work, and the counsellor holds the space with care and curiosity.

How this benefits the child: Sand tray therapy is an evidence-based approach that can be helpful for children who've experienced trauma or overwhelming feelings, as it creates some gentle distance from what's hard. In therapy, we refer to this as ‘externalisation’.  By bypassing traditional verbal communication, it allows the brain to process deep, unconscious thoughts and emotions. It’s used for both children and adults. The person plays out their experience — or their interpretation of an experience — slowly and safely begins to process it.

3.  Internal Family Systems (IFS): Getting to know our inner world

   
   

Have you ever thought, “part of me wants to do XYZ, but part of me doesn’t.” While it may seem a turn of phrase, it’s actually a really insightful observation into our own psyches and what IFS leans on.

• Internal Family Systems (or IFS) is an approach that considers us all as made up of different "parts" — a worried part, a bold part, a part that shuts down, a part that lashes out. Rather than treating these parts as problems to be fixed, IFS approaches them with compassion and curiosity. Each part — even the ones that cause difficulty — is trying to help in some way.

How this shows up in a session: IFS may be explored through a child drawing their parts, storytelling or simply talking. Over time, they begin to understand their inner world. It’s a powerful approach for giving a child personal agency, as it celebrates the child’s innate resources. For example, a kid who exhibits anger-based behaviours may find the patience to pause before taking action by considering that within them is a kind — or even a scared part — that wants to feel protected. IFS helps to process situations from different angles and perspectives.  

4.  Interactive Drawing Therapy (IDT): Responding to the whole child

• Interactive Drawing Therapy (IDT) is a specialised, client-centred therapeutic modality that combines words, images and feelings. By drawing or journaling on a page, children externalise inner experiences, making it easier to gain new perspectives, uncover personal strengths and process complex emotions

How this is applied in a session: A trained counsellor follows the child’s lead as they do simple drawings or diagrams alongside words to explore their inner world. It’s a highly effective modality for bypassing conversational blockages. Rather than the counsellor interpreting the art for the child, the drawing acts as a mirror. Instead, the counsellor acts as a strategic partner who guides the child through the natural stages of psychological healing without telling them what their drawings mean. 

You don't need to have it all figured out

Whichever approach ends up being the right fit, the most important thing is that your child feels safe, seen, valued and supported.

You don't need to have it all figured out before reaching out — we'll take the time to get to know your child and find the right fit together.

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